Note: Erin kindly asked me to put a trigger warning here. We talk about eating disorders, addictions and sexual abuse. If any of this material is triggering for you, you may want to skip this episode.
Lead with your crazy. That’s the Erin Gilmore way. After a lifetime of feeling like she had to suppress her own, she’s learned through a dedicated yoga practice and blossoming teaching career that it’s more authentic and rewarding to lead with it. Why not?
For her, that means being open and honest about her journey, admitting imperfection, revealing the guts and keeping it real. She does all of this publicly, on Instagram as part of her own healing, and with the hope that someone else feels less alone.
Erin has struggled with her relationship with food since she was a teenager. She’s actually spun her yoga practice around her disordered eating, it’s how she found her way out of it. In a slew of other addictive behaviors and substances pushing her along the current of self-loathing through high school and college, one hour a day in yoga was the only time she felt self compassion.
If we’re being honest, I cannot remember how I stumbled upon her. It could very have been suggested by Instagram, or through comments by mutual friends. What I do remember is that the inner agreements pictured here are what moved me to reach out.
In her Instagram post sharing these inner agreements, she said it was five years and twenty pounds ago. A version of myself could relate. If I dug deep enough, I’m sure I could find something very similar in my own journals, though admittedly without the understanding of dichotomous harmony. Everything was so black and white back then, and I too found comfort in yoga. For me, it was more than a decade ago, but yoga … it was never a punishment. It was an active choice, and therefore quite nourishing for the soul.
Recently, Erin wrote:
This fit body is a byproduct of my changes, it came about almost by accident. My intention became my own best interest, clarity, rather than a certain ideal I felt compelled to attain. I made a conscious decision to trust my nature. I chose not throwing up, not starving myself, and not forcing my weak body to work out. This shift in perspective allowed my body to find it’s natural balance. I now live in a body shape that is free of fear and hatred.
Did you know that more than 90% of women suffer from some form of disordered eating in their lifetime? For someone who has ever suffered from an ED, freedom is all you ever want. This episode is great for anyone who has ever suffered from disordered eating. But understand it can be triggering. We both discuss our own individual experiences with eating disorders, though we don’t mention weight in exact numbers, and how we’ve recovered. It’s ideal for anyone who feels like “a hungry ghost” — always looking for the next thing.
- how-to achieve self-compassion
- what it feels like to have an anorexia, bulimia, adderol addiction and more
- the tools we used to recover from our respective eating disorders, and the non linear path to get there
- the black veil of shame around openly discussing disordered eating
- Erin’s path to yoga teacher training and a lucrative career teaching yoga
- how she eats, and how she wants to shift her habits
- her new tarot ritual
- how to get into meditation (hint: I sent her Ally Bogard’s episode!)
Geneen Roth’s Women, Food and God – we’re both obsessed
SARK, journaling visually
all photos from Erin’s Instagram account